The Last Time – the last pair of slippers

By Sheila Orysiek

SAN DIEGO–There is a first and last time for everything.  The first time an infant raises its head to look around at the world.  The last time Moses addressed the Hebrew tribes and then stood on a mountain and watched them walk off into history.  That, for me, is the most poignant portion of the Torah.  And, we each in many ways, face these first and last times, too.  Today I bought my last pair of ballet slippers.

The first time was in 1966 when I had to go downtown San Diego to the only store which sold ballet slippers and pointe shoes.  I had no idea what I was doing, how to chose, or what size for which to ask.  I was at the mercy of the sales clerk, who fortunately was knowledgeable.  I knew nothing of how to sew on the strips of elastic or where upon the shoe they went.  It was all part of the mysterious dance world I was entering.

Through the years I learned exactly where to sew those elastics (one turns down the heel flap and in that fold sits the end of the elastic).  I also learned through the experience of suddenly having the elastic pull loose, that they needed to be sewed on as if my life depended upon it, because if they suddenly pulled free it could precipitate a nasty fall.  Before the days when pink elastic strips were available to match the dance tights, I carefully dipped them in Calamine lotion – the only substance I could think of that was the correct color.

After a year of industrious application to my dance studies I was rewarded one day when my teacher quietly said: “Sheila, you are ready for pointe work – buy pointe shoes.”  I was facing the barre at the time, and she couldn’t see my face but had she been able to – she would have seen a big, huge, happy smile spreading from ear to ear.  Pointe shoes!  At last!

During forty years of dancing and teaching, I bought hundreds of pairs of pointe shoes.  Old pointe shoes replaced my need for slippers although I always kept a pair handy.  It was not unusual for there to be six or seven pairs of dance shoes at any one time in my dance bag.  For performances, the number increased to almost a dozen.  Feet change from hour to hour depending upon weather, amount of work, and the dance to be performed which necessitates a variety of shoes to fit the moment.

Every pair of slippers and pointe shoes is made by hand and even when made by the same hand, are different from pair to pair.  My purchase of that first pair of pointe shoes was fairly simple though I didn’t have the experience to make an informed choice.  The selection was so limited in those years that one made do with what was available.  Today the choices are huge and though that is a good thing, it can also be confusing.

At the end, when retirement came, I had on hand dozens of pairs of pointe shoes.  I winnowed them down to two pairs – one terribly worn (full of its own history) and one pair in fairly clean condition.  I kept them as adjuncts to my series of dance lectures which I was often called upon to give.  People like to see pointe shoes up close – touch them – even try them on.  And, it is surprising to many how worn a shoe can be – the difference is startling.

I also had on hand – at the end of my last class – a pair of slippers.  I have been using them every evening as I give myself a short – very geriatric – a shadow of a shadow of a shadow – of ballet barre work.  Today I don’t do this series of exercises with any future in mind – simply to keep track of my sense of balance and movement.  Lasting only 20 minutes, nevertheless, it gives me an opportunity to move to music and remember.

Well, that last pair of slippers tore last night and today I went to buy another pair.  This will be absolutely, my final pair of dance slippers.  As I sit and sew on the strips of elastic I remember that first time – the excitement and the indecision of exactly where upon the shoe to sew them.  At least, today – 43 years later – as I sew them on, I have no doubt where the elastic goes and how it should feel.  Forty years – a generation of time – but my journey is now from the Promised Land to a desert empty of dance.

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Orysiek is a freelance writer based in San Diego. She may be contacted at orysieks@sandiegojewishworld.com